About me

Hi, my name is Stephen,

Life isn’t always straightforward, and as happens for many people, life changing events led me to experience counselling for myself for the first time. And to say I was apprehensive about opening myself up to a ‘stranger’ would be quite an understatement! But I found it to be so useful and positive, I decided to retrain as a counsellor after a successful career as a mediator.

This was the hardest but the most rewarding thing I have ever undertaken. Since making that decision, I have had the privilege of being the counsellor for many people, helping them with their unique life challenges, and to make positive changes in their own lives or to adjust and make sense of difficulty life events.

Why do people come to counselling?

Social anxiety, anxiety, depression, low self confidence, coping with bereavement and relationships issues are some of the reasons, amongst many others, that people seek and then make a decision to get support. Whilst common to a lot of people, to the person feeling this way, it can feel like they are suffering alone.
You have taken the first step in researching what is available. Reaching out is the next and hardest step and takes courage. Coping with our thoughts and emotions alone can be a daily challenge, and leave you in a place where you can’t see a way forward. Talking to a qualified therapist can make a real difference.

How could counselling help me?

Sometimes we just need another person to fully listen to us, without judgement or offering us solutions. To be heard and accepted, even if at first it is hard to put your thoughts and feelings into words. You might feel overwhelmed by the choice and numbers of therapists available; or you might find the idea of change through therapy difficult if not impossible to achieve.

I do find that sometimes people think that their problems are “trivial” compared to others and not somehow worthy of counselling. They are not trivial. If you are looking into finding a counsellor, then there are life issues that counselling can help with.

Counselling can help you process difficult emotions and bring clarity to your life and make a positive difference to your future. Rather than struggling alone, working with a counsellor can make a big difference to your well-being.

Why choose me?

The most important thing when choosing a counsellor (apart from making sure they are adequately qualified, insured and registered with a professional body) is to choose someone you feel comfortable with. Someone who “gets” you.

A relationship between a counsellor and client grows over time, but often your first “gut instinct” on meeting a counsellor is the best predictor of how good the relationship is likely to be. Because if you don’t feel comfortable, you won’t feel safe enough to talk honestly and trust them, and then your therapy won’t be effective.

Talking to someone who isn’t a friend or family member can seem to be daunting. My clients have said that being listened to without someone offering advice or trying to fix them as if they are broken, and being able to speak freely without being judged has helped them be more open and authentic in other relationships, and more self accepting, and has helped them clarify changes they want to make in their lives, and to find new understanding of their grief or difficulties.

I, like other counsellors, offer a safe, supportive and nonjudgemental space. What does that mean? We will meet in my private and comfortable therapy room, I will hold what we talk about in confidence, and I will listen to all you bring, including those parts that may make you feel vulnerable, embarrassed or ashamed. I will accept all of you, including all the emotions you would not usually show.

There are times when for everyone life can become overwhelming. You may feel depressed, stressed or anxious, unable to sleep, or have a sense of being stuck or lost, a feeling that life isn’t working out how you wanted it to, but you don’t know what to do about it. I have felt these things myself, and found a way through.

There may be particular current events which are troubling, such a the breakdown of relationships, or you may have felt stuck and suffering for years. You may have had a childhood in which you suffered abuse, or a childhood that was unremarkable in that there was no obvious abuse, but it left a lasting sense that something was lacking in your relationship with your parents that still affects you deeply.

The death of friends, relatives or beloved pets can leave you struggling especially when the people around you expect you just carry on as before. Sometimes multiple difficulties build on each other, and we see patterns repeating leaving us wondering how we can cope or break the pattern. Often people feel anxious and depressed for many years, and look for a way to improve their life and relationships. Sometimes we just feel lost and we don’t know why.

Having a long work history in counselling and dispute resolution, together with voluntary work with the Samaritans and a bereavement charity, I have learned how important it is for each individual to be heard.

Whether it be loneliness, bereavement, anxiety, death of beloved pets, career changes, being bullied at work, or relationship conflict and difficulties, whether past or present, people find courage and way forward to live their best life best life if they are allowed to express what is truly going on for them.

There are good reasons why people don’t always confide in friends and family.

A supportive family and a close circle of friends is perhaps everyone’s ideal. But even if you are fortunate to have that (and very many don’t) they are not always the best choice to discuss life’s challenges with.

You may have put on a “brave face” in front of them and find it too hard to drop that persona. You may be the one that everyone else relies on. You may have tried to talk with them and found that what you told them wasn’t kept in confidence, or you may have been given endless advice, when all you wanted was someone to listen to you.

What is troubling you may seem so insurmountable, that you don’t know where to start. Sometimes people close to us trivialise our problems thinking that that will help us. It may be that you don’t want to feel that you burden them. They may be part or all of the problem. The person you trusted may have died or left the relationship.

There may simply be no one in your life that you can trust with your deepest fears and worries.

Whatever counsellor you choose, the aim of counselling is to facilitate growth and self development and to talk about any issue that is causing you distress. To make life not just bearable, but enjoyable.

As a counsellor and psychotherapist I regularly undergo my own therapy and personal development work. This ensures that I never forget how it feels to sit in the clients’ seat and can respond to the feelings of vulnerability that sometimes arise for everyone who goes for counselling and psychotherapy. It is a normal part of the therapy process to feel this. Making your first approach to a therapist is a brave and sometimes daunting thing to do.

What qualifies me to do this?

I am trained and qualified in person centred counselling. What this means is that I see you as the expert on yourself. I can assist you in bringing clarity to your thoughts and emotions, and provide a safe space to express how you feel.

I am a member of the National Counselling Society and I follow its ethics for good practice, and adhere to their recommendation for regular clinical supervision. I hold an enhanced DBS check, and I am fully insured. Most importantly, I offer a warm and empathic space to explore at a pace that you want, all issues that are impacting on your life. Please do get in touch and I can assure you that you will be welcomed and that I will give you my full commitment to assisting you.

I specialise in:

Family challenges

Relationships
Workplace bullying 

Anxiety

Depression

Grief and bereavement
Pet bereavement 

Trauma

Spiritual Crisis and Awakening